He can tell, at a glance, whether something was made with care — it is the whole reason he does this. Which is exactly why the shirts made for him are so insulting: another pun, another default font, another joke about sawdust. This one is a nineteenth-century trade-catalogue plate. A bench chisel laid across the chest in aged brass, every bevel and ferrule band engraved in bone cream on top of it, one long shaving curling away beneath the blade — the ribbon that only a properly honed edge will give you. Beneath it, the oldest instruction in the craft: KEEP IT SHARP. Under a hairline rule, the specimen caption: FIG. 9 — THE BENCH CHISEL.
Printed on the Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex tee: soft, true to size, broken in from the first wear. Direct-to-garment printed in two flat inks, so the engraving sits in the fabric rather than on top of it. Offered in thirteen shop-dark shades — navy, oxblood black, forest, maroon, black, brown, heather emerald and more — every one of them chosen because warm cream and brass read rich against it.
It is the piece a partner or a daughter can hand over at Christmas knowing it will land: admiring, never sentimental, and impossible to mistake for a gag gift.
Made to order and printed in about 3–7 business days before it ships. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and skip ironing directly on the print. Made for the maker, not for the joke about him.
