Every hybrid team has a Head of Morale, and it has never once been a person. It is the dog asleep under the desk through every standup, every retro, every all-hands. He keeps no calendar, holds no opinions on the roadmap, and has a perfect attendance record.
The artwork is his profile card, filled in properly. A big round avatar holds one flat dog face, drawn in clean vector shapes with thick even outlines. A presence dot sits on the rim, because he has never once been away. HEAD OF MORALE runs beside it in the weight a real title gets, and beneath the header two rows state the facts without comment: SLEEPS UNDER THE DESK, then NEVER MISSES A STANDUP. Flat solid ink, no app, no logo, nothing borrowed from anyone's workspace.
The range runs dark on purpose, so the card sits clean and bright across the chest.
It lands on the colleague whose dog is on every call, the partner working from the other end of the sofa, or the dog owner who has quietly given their animal a job title. Most people buy the first one for themselves and the second one for whoever needs the joke explained least.
He is not taking questions.
